El sexo y yo

Por: Casandra Solís Cámara Ruiz de Esparza, Psicóloga y arte terapeuta

El sexo y yo

Conoce como la cultura influye en tu manera de ver y sentir el sexo y comienza a cambiar tabúes y romper paradigmas

Me gustaría hablarles sobre sexualidad y cómo he notado en mí y en otros cuerpos sus efectos más allá del acto. Es decir, cómo habita en nosotros no sólo en el preciso momento de la relación sexual sino también en el antes y el después.

Como mujer te cuento que para mí el camino a este placer ha sido turbulento. Muchas veces delicioso pero muchas otras veces ha estado envuelto en penas, culpas e incluso dolores.

Llegar a disfrutar de algo que “debería” ser simplemente exquisito ha tomado mucho tiempo y aún después de un largo camino ha habido muchas veces que la experiencia no es tan placentera como me gustaría.

Lo que he descubierto es que existen muchos aspectos involucrados en esta actividad que tanto nos gusta, aspectos que en lo más mínimo son sencillos. Al contrario, tan complejos como lo es la construcción de la cultura a través de los años.

He oído historias de todo tipo. Consejos de mi madre, de otras madres, de amigas, de tías, de conocidas. Todos tienen algo que opinar sobre este tema, y las más de las veces, todas hablamos desde nuestras experiencias, gustos, preferencias y aprendizajes.

Para mí, existen tres esferas involucradas en esto: la cultura, el yo y las relaciones. Cada una de ellas a su vez contemplan muchos otros factores, como la educación, la religión, el género, sexo, preferencia sexual, identidad, la concepción del amor, el ideal de pareja, el trabajo, las inseguridades, el autoestima, los límites, la familia, los amigos, el cuerpo, los miedos, la mente y el pasado, entre muchas otras. La lista es tan larga y variada como cada vida individual con su propia historia.

El sexo y yo

La realidad es que la cultura ha impregnado en los individuos un supuesto deber ser de la mujer. Cómo es, qué piensa, qué debe hacer, cómo vestir, con quién salir, a qué aspirar, hasta llegar a lo más íntimo de nuestro ser y pensarnos en nuestro cuerpo, mente y emociones a través de este filtro cultural.

La personalidad, la educación y las experiencias hacen que podamos vivir en el manto cultural desde distintas perspectivas, pero lo más importante es no olvidar que estamos sujetas al entorno y que no por eso debemos ceder a sus exigencias. Siempre primero estamos nosotras, nuestro cuerpo, nuestra mente y nuestras emociones.

Con esto me refiero a que debemos prestar mucha atención a la forma en que pensamos sobre nosotras mismas, nuestras emociones, nuestros deseos y formas de goce, porque al estar con una pareja esto se sensibiliza para bien o para mal.

Cuando decidimos compartir nuestro tiempo con una pareja sentimental las tres esferas de las que hablé se crecen y se agitan más que con otro tipo de relaciones porque intimamos en más formas de lo que lo hacemos con otras personas. Es en esa relación íntima cuando el deber ser y la concepción de nosotras mismas no debe dejarse de lado.

Hablando específicamente de la relación sexual, no podemos olvidarnos de nuestro sentir ni ponerlo en segundo plano. Nuestro placer es igual de importante que el de nuestra pareja o parejas.

NO tenemos que hacer nada que NO queramos y tenemos todo el derecho a pedir lo que nos gusta. Por lo que también es muy importante que conozcamos nuestro cuerpo y tengamos la seguridad para comunicarnos con nuestra pareja.

Aquí puede ponerse complicado porque te cuento que muchos hombres son muy inseguros porque también son víctimas de la cultura que les asegura que su pene es suficiente.

Y su inseguridad puede poner en duda su supuesta masculinidad, por lo que muchas veces pueden responder no asertivamente, al contrario, sé de varios casos en los que la respuesta es más bien agresiva o incluso violenta.

En ese caso te invito a que te cuestiones sobre la reacción de tu pareja y valores si tu vida o tu integridad corre algún tipo de peligro. Si consideras que sí puedes comunicarte aquí para asistencia.

El sexo y yo

Continuando con las reacciones no asertivas, no hay que alarmarnos que poco a poco estamos haciéndonos entender que el sexo es más que una simple penetración y que la masculinidad de nuestra pareja está muy lejos de reafirmarse con el supuesto poder orgásmico de su pene.

La sexualidad involucra a todo el cuerpo, pues no solo sentimos con nuestros órganos genitales. Podemos hacer uso de una cantidad tremenda de juguetes, lubricantes, posiciones y disfraces, por mencionar algunos recursos y accesorios. También se involucran nuestras emociones que están intrínsecamente relacionadas a la apropiación que tengamos sobre nuestro cuerpo que es hermoso y perfecto tal cuál es.

Para más información sobre la anatomía de tu vagina te recomiendo echarle un vistazo a la Pussypedia, proyecto creado por chicas mexicanas para entender mejor todo lo relacionado a la vagina y órganos reproductivos a partir de información científica organizada y actualizada.

 

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